Bernard Black
Bernard Ludwig Black, the owner of the eponymous bookshop Black Books, is a heavy alcoholic and smoker and has been known to be rude and obnoxious to the customers in his shop. The only people Bernard can be said to share a friendship with are Manny Bianco, his assistant and flat mate, and Fran Katzenjammer, his best friend and neighbour. Biography Early life Bernard was born in Ireland on the nineteenth day of an unknown month in the 1960s to Mr. and Mrs. Black. Not much is known about his childhood, although it is likely that he was raised by his parents in Ireland. Move to London Bernard moved to London in the early 1990s and met Gerald, who lent him money and helped him find a job. Sometime around 1995, Gerald helped Bernard find a building on Little Bevan Street in Bloomsbury. It is unknown what purpose the building was serving at the time, however, Bernard rented it and turned it into a bookshop called Black Books. Bernard then became acquinted with Fran Katzenjammer, the owner of the shop next door, and the pair became friends. Sometime after this Fran and Bernard had a sexual relationship, however, it was short lived as the pair were drunk at the time and remained as friends. Hiring of Manny Bianco In the 2000, Bernard hired Bianco whilst under the influence of alcohol, and, when he had discovered what he had done, looked for a reason to fire Manny. Fran, who had taken a liking to Manny, persuaded Bernard to take Manny back. Manny continued to work in the shop, proving to be a valuable asset and a keen salesman. Bernard, however, remained unconvinced and continually teased and taunted Manny about his willingness to help, his personality and his appearance. Loss of Manny Bianco A few years after he was hired, Manny decided to leave Black Books to work in the new bookshop next door, Goliath Books. After Manny's departure, Bernard's health quickly deteriorated and his shop became wrecked and more messy than ever. Manny, meawhile, felt at home in his new job, until his new boss, Evan, tried to take what is most precious to him, his appearance. Manny decided to return to Black Books rather than obey his cruel boss, only to find the shop in the worst state it was ever been in, overflowing with books and filled with hermit crabs and dead badgers. Bernard, delighted to see Manny, defended him when Evan comes looking for him, and agreed that his attitude towards Manny needed to change. However, once he has rehired Manny, Bernard quickly returns to insulting and abusing him. Personality Bernard is a drunken, unhygienic and possibly depressed pessimist who believes that the best way to enjoy life is through njoys drinking, smoking and reading. He has a hatred of customers entering his shop and often insults and harasses them. He considers customers buying from his bookshop a 'bad thing', as he hates reordering books he sells and, on one occasion, paid a customer to take away the books he was trying to sell, in order for Bernard not to have to catalogue and price them. Despite having a hatred for customers, Bernard also has a hatred of mobile phones, walkmans and time-wasters, so much so that he has written a set of rules for all customers to obey. Bernard has a certain fondness for the shop itself, and when told that it need refurbishing, stated that "it is a lovely place" and defended the shop whenever any of its bad qualities were mentioned. Bernard is extremely unhygienic, allowing mushrooms to grow in his hair and wearing a white suit that is so dirty it appears black. On one occasion, Bernard's health begins to decline rapidly when Manny leaves home in search of new work at the bookshop next door, Goliath Books. Bernard begins brushing his teeth with a dustpan brush and consuming slug pellets and oven cleaner as medicine. Bernard begins to feel like he has "been beaten up, underwater" and his "brain is falling away like a wet cake". Bernard's usual physical condition, however, is somewhat better. He 'freshens up' by spraying himself with a shower hose and urinates into the toilet from a distance while reading a book. Manny once called in a cleaner to try and clean up the house. However, only a few days after the cleaner had finished, the house had returned to its original condition. Bernard's negative and pessimistic outlook on life, and his attitude towards other people, is due to the fact that Emma, his former fiance, faked her own death as not to marry him. Many people have kept this secret from him, including Fran, Bernard's parents and Mr. Singh at the newsagent's. Bernard is presumabley a Christian, and once invited a pair of Jehovah's witnesses into his house. The Jehovah's witnesses were not very professional, however after meeting Bernard, they undestood the concept of many religious stories and parables. Despite being heterosexual, Bernard thought he 'was gay for a bit', until he found out about 'the prohibitive standards of hygiene, and all that dancing!'. Bernard is often awkward with women, usually going out of his way to impress them by pretending he can play the piano or showering them in flowers and chocolates. All of the known instances of Bernard trying to impress a woman have failed, however he did have a sexual relationship with Fran, but when asked about it, Bernard stated "she remembers and I'm not allowed". Skills and abilities *'Creative Writer': Bernard is a skilled writer, and once wrote a lengthy book over just two days, however, it was refused publication. He also wrote a 1030 page book with an incredibly complex plot in only a matter of hours. His skill for creative writing is probably due to the fact that he is a keen reader of books. Relationships Manny Bianco Bernard and Manny have a very difficult relationship together. Bernard often bullies and insults Manny and calls him names including Gandalf, Ming the Merciless, Thor, Hawkwind, Bigfoot, "half Fu-Manchu, half Iago", Genghis Khan, "Customer-Lover" and Lord of the Rings, in reference to Manny's appearance and personality. Bernard has a particular hatred for Manny's beard, saying that the only thing that will bring him inner piece is a beard-seeking missile and once called Manny "a beard with an idiot hanging off it". Bernard revealed that his hatred of Manny's beard is due to the fact that he "kept finding it everywhere". Despite their frequent arguments, Manny seems to care for Bernard's welfare, and usually rushes to help if Bernard is in despair. Bernard often orders Manny to do things, as bizarre as to "hoover the roof", "whistle down the chimmnies" and "de-louse the duvet". Despite his willingness to obey, Manny, after a therapy session, successfully stood up to Bernard, calling him a "silly, little man", and asked "isn't it sbout time you had a really good scrub". Despite making it clear to Bernard that he is unhappy with Bernard's attitude towards him, Manny always returns to Bernard if he runs away, to the point where he has to reapply for his original job on his own. Fran Katzenjammer Bernard's relationship with Fran, however, is somewhat better than his with Manny. Fran is Bernard's oldest friend and it seems she is the only one who can have some control over him. Fran often persuades Bernard to do things he does not want to do, such as allowing Manny to work in the shop and allowing Manny's parents to stay. She usually does this through violence and shouting insults at him. Bernard and Fran often confine in one another, and used to close their shops early to share a drink. They usually settle arguments by slapping each other, and keep many secrets from each other. Fran knew that Bernard's ex-finacee faked her own death to get away from him, however, she kept this secret from him for many years. Bernard did have a sexual relationship with Fran, but when asked about it, stated "she remembers and I'm not allowed". Physical appearance Bernard usually wears a black jacket, black trousers and a dark shirt, however the entire suit is actually a white suit and has gotten so dirty it appears black. Bernard has messy, unruly hair, and allows Manny to cut it using a bread-knife if he is feeling 'a bit top-heavy'. Although never appearing with a beard or moustache, there is usually some rough stubble growing around Bernard's chin and upper lip. This may be because his idea of shaving is putting a long trail of shaving cream on his right cheek and then brushing it off with a tooth brush. Behind the scenes * Bernard was created and portrayed by Irish actor and comedian, Dylan Moran. * Bernard was voted 19th in Channel 4's poll 'World's Greatest Comedy Character'. * Bernard is based on a real bookshop owner Dylan Moran met in Dublin. Moran stated that "he looks like he's swallowed a cup of sour milk and peed himself at the same time. He has this green bilious expression, years of displeasure have shaped his face. In fact he looks like every other second hand bookshop owner I’ve seen. It seems to go with the job - being miserable". * Dylan Moran said that Bernard is Irish because Moran is "too lazy to do an accent". Etmology *''Bernard'' is a masculine name of Old German origin. It roughly translates to "bear-hardy", or "brave as a bear". *''Ludwig'' is an Old High German given name. It can be traced back to Hludwig, a Germanic name, composed of Hlud/''Hluth'' meaning "famous", and Wig meaning "warrior". However, Bernard is probably named after Ludwig van Beethoven, a reference to their similar hairstyles. *''Black'' is a name of Scottish origin, and originated from a nickname given to a dark-haired man. Appearances *''Cooking the Books'' *''Manny's First Day'' *''Grapes of Wrath'' *''The Blackout'' *''The Big Lockout'' *''He's Leaving Home'' *''The Entertainer'' *''Fever'' *''The Fixer'' *''Blood'' *''Hello Sun'' *''A Nice Change'' *''Manny Come Home'' *''Elephants and Hens'' *''Moo-Ma and Moo-Pa'' *''A Little Flutter'' *''Travel Writer'' *''Party'' *''Black Dolls'' *''Bernard's Letter'' External links http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0025926/ Bernard Black's Character Profile on IMBD http://www.channel4.com/programmes/black-books/articles/dylan-moran-and-graham-linehan-interview Interview with Dylan Moran and Graham Linehan http://blogs.thestage.co.uk/tvtoday/2008/05/unsung-heroes-of-television-bernard-black/ Unsung Hereos of Television: Bernard Black Category:Males Category:Shop owners Category:Irish individuals Category:1960s births